Morbid Fear.

I can't seem to set my mind down to sleep early. I am having this fear of not able to wake up on time for school next week.

Not as a student. But as an observing (trainee) teacher.

Splurged a good $80 on G2000 clothes for the School Experience. Hopefully no one comments about them being too tiong.

Had a nice chat with Miss Irene over the telephone regarding the activity tomorrow. Apart from that, we chatted about girls, and life. Can't imagine that I first met her as a teacher when I was only 13 years old in Hai Sing. And now we can chat easily as if we were old friends.

And I really treat her as an old friend. Not literally old, I mean.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I find myself sitting aimlessly in front of my computer. What is happening to me?

I am so slack that I have not even thought of how to fill in my curriculum vitae. I am so slack that I have not even completed my personal taskings for the Teachers' Challenge.

It seems that I am stonified now.

I think I am just plain lazy for the time being. No motivation to do any stuff. Some old sh*t I do everyday unless I have dates.

Now I shall sleep.

Fishing (Frogging)

Jimmy coined the term "frogging" in place of fishing because he thought that I could catch frogs last night.

Blatantly he doesn't know that Bedok Jetty is at the sea. Either this or he doesn't know that frogs don't live in the sea. *hurhur*

Planning for Teachers' Challenge is more or less completed already. Thank you Sharon and Khadijah.

NIE mates commented that I'm too skinny. Doesn't give girls a sense of security. But what good is a well-built guy when he has other major flaws like taking people for granted, for instance?

Slept for a good 8 hours after the frogging fishing trip before giving tuition again just now.

Chatted with a 26-year-old schoolmate at the jetty about his problems. Indeed, he shares my sentiments about this year being the worst year in our lives. But what can I advise him except to move on?

The sky was really enchanting that night. Literally full of stars. Quiet with a cooling breeze all night long. It is like a paradise. Sounds of splashing waves coupled with the yellow reflection of the moon shining upon the dark sea. I felt so unwound and open over there last night. To enjoy my friends' company while frogging fishing with a few cans of beer to add up to the atmosphere is such a bliss in this f*cked-up hectic and dog-eat-dog political world now.

Not to forget that those irritating mosquitoes were not around.

I think I am acquiring a penchant for these kind of activities. Roller-blading, frogging fishing and stuff like that. These past few days had been renewing and fruitful and I thank and praise God for all He had given unto me. (",)

Although it was a fun night, I still cannot control myself but think. I felt so peaceful, free and simple, lost in my own world but probably it is the the new me (yes it's been long and I had finally found myself. Jimmy please don't say I am chui again).

It was a night to remember.

And still, I hold on dear to my dreams of star-gazing with my beloved one, falling asleep in each others' arms. And yes and it got to be at Bedok Jetty.

One day it will come true.

Yippee! I'm going shopping later!

Good night people.

Quick Updates

Here's some express updates before I retreat to the jetty for some overnight fishing.

Went shopping on Saturday and spotted some nice clothes at G2000. Got to get it before my school experience starts. Ended my day at Alley Bar with two pints of Hoegaarden during happy hours.

Sunday was the most interesting. Jimmy the stuntman was born. Tried to rollerblade down the slope.

"Ah heck it. Hiong lah!"

And he, being given the title of a stuntman, it is needless to explain more.

Had some nice dinner at Bedok 85 before going home with Gek since she lives near me.

Had a long meeting for orientation in school today. And for the first (few) time, I wasn't late! Settled some orientation stuff with Sharon in campus before heading home and prepare for the overnight fishing trip.

Will be back with pictures of the fishing trip (I hope).

Bad Year.

It has been a bad year so far. Alot of unhappy things had happened and I have the urge to blog about it.

Breakups, sad moments, fear, apprehension and sorrows. Happening to people close to me. Although I am fine with things already, the things that had happened never fail to make me feel melancholic again.

Yes you may say it is none of my freaking business but those sorrowful and fearful moments come unexpectedly. They grip you by the neck from the back and suffocate you.

Without you knowing the culprit most of the time.

Luckily I am going to be busy soon with school and orientation. If not I'll just die like the dragonfly which lives only for 24 hours (bet you don't know that!).

The shackles of love that most of us cannot escape bind most of us to eternity. The lucky ones escape after a few months.

Tomorrow will be another new day. But I foresee an unhappy one. But I do hope that this time, the man's intuition is wrong. Not just wrong but VERY wrong.

And I pray for all my brothers and close friends who are in shit, just entered shit, or just out of shit.

Good night people.

It Has Been Long.

It has been long since I last updated this blog of mine. I think I am going mad soon because so far, it has been a BORING day. Was supposed to go shopping with Sharon for the school experience but at the very last minute, something cropped up.

*Sigh*

For Wednesday, it was kinda fun going to KTV for 6 hours straight from 8pm to 2am. And two person only. Siyi and ME! The staff there had a hard time finding the leftover Martell we had two weeks back during her birthday.

Lesson learnt: Get the drink card (or whatever you call it) from them before you leave with an unfinished bottle. So they cannot accuse you of being a pathetic liar.

Was totally shagged out by the time I got home at 3 and I’m going rollerblading with the same old gang from NIE in just a few hours’ time. Woke up with eyes that could barely open and made my way down to ECP. Got the wheels all dirtied again and I guess I have to clean it before I return it to couzie Mike. Had a sumptuous dinner with sambal stingray, bar chor mee, chicken wings and oyster omelette. Met up with Jimbi (the super-confident guy now), Jeff (the “Snake”) and Lau a.k.a King (kpkb, as always) + 01X Catherine for boozing action. It was my first booze time after a week. Getting better in cutting down on booze eh? For the past few months, I gladly donated a substantial amount of my salary to booze. This month, I contributed to KTV sessions and outings instead of booze.

So all in all, there’re no improvements!

Woke up to a half a day of gaming before I decided to move my butt and get khakis to go out again. I simply can’t stay at home.

Now for my mood, I felt pissed and *argh*. Over nothing I am pissed. Tomorrow shall be the grand finale. NO MORE! NO MORE! ARGH!

Somebody kill me please. Oh well.

Oh now for the happy part. The activity this coming Monday should be quite fun. Overnight fishing at Bedok Jetty with the NIE gang again. I feel a sense of serenity when I rollerblade along the more deserted parts the of the park. The breeze at the jetty is always cool, regardless of the amount of heat the blazing sun emits. A sense of placidness overwhelms me whenever I stood at the far end of the jetty. The vastness of the sea (though it is not that vast either), the quiet of the beach and the sight of families and friends enjoying themselves. All these seemed so ever wonderful.

I thank God for all these beautiful things that I’ve encountered and seen that day. And I will never stop praising Him for everything good that He had given unto me and the world.

Interesting.

I saw something interesting on Bro Eric's MSN. Combining that interesting saying with one of which I knew, it goes like this:

"What don't kill you makes you stronger but haunts you forever."

Well, come to think of it, it's true. How many of us can escape the haunting memories of the past? Memories that carry the emotional baggage, guilt, remorse, sorrow and what-nots.

One may say, "I am strong and I had moved on." But can they confidently say that memories are dead? No, memories are never dead, be it fond or painful ones.

I feel like a poser at times. At times when I felt so vulnerable yet I acted strong. At times when I feel so down under but I looked optimistic. Surrounding people may say you are stupid but who is to judge? There is only one Entity who can judge in this universe. Every finger you point at people, three fingers are pointing back at you.

But notwithstanding the previous paragraph, I am feeling better most of the times. I'm able to cope with things right now. And I thank all of you for the moral support and encouragement.

It puts me down to see that we quarrel over almost every little thing as friends. But things perked me up at times when we chatted peacefully though she is the one who was turned off by those quarrels.

Not forgetting that she initiated the chat.

Life is interesting eh? I've learnt not to presume, assume and be too kind. Sometimes you are kind because of human nature; you just want some little reciprocation no mater how little it is. Sometimes you are kind because of a charitable heart. Sometimes you are kind because you feel sorry about things. I don't know which category I belong to but presumably the very first one.

The weather these few days had been gloomy and it had added to my mood. Not able to go outdoors and do the things I want make me feel so dead and couch-potato like. No I don't stay in front of the black box and eat chips like what you see in trashy American advertisements but I stay in front of my computer and do almost every single sh*t thing there except for Nature's calls.

Looking into the future, I foresee a very busy me. School orientation is drawing near as well as school experience. The holiday is coming to an end soon before I knew it. I can't wait for school to start actually. Meeting new people, having some stuff to study and catching up with mates seemed exciting (in a way).

And I apologise for not being able to meet up with my "situational" brothers like Jimbi these past two weeks. Busy with school stuff and you people are working. Hard to coordinate. And I want to cut down on my clubbing expenses. Come to think of it, I've only clubbed once in these past two weeks. Quite a feat isn't it?

Erm, it's early. Time to nap. =)

Quintessentially....

Brothers in distress again. Ha! This world is never ridden of its vicious cycle of love and separation, fear and courage, nostalgia and apprehension.

Talking about morality, would you go after someone whom you like but the person you like is on a rocky boat with his/her partner? And we have to factor in that you know the person's partner personally as well.

Indeed this is a hard question that tries our moral principles (for some of us with at least a meagre level of morality) versus the ever-uncomprehended feeling of love.

I don't have the answer or any justifications for this if you ask me.

Someone told me just now; mentality allows you to think while the heart allows you to feel. Would you rather have a stable and right mentality or a strong heart to feel and do the things you feel that have to be done? He rather feel because you derive satisfaction and that conquers all thinking. You think more, you get more problems. Love works miracles.

My friend also said, if I still feel for her (Anqi), there is still love, there is still flame, there is always hope. But the next thing rocked me the most.

"Because you did it 3 years ago."

It's nice to know all these but the fact remains that I know where I stand. There is no place for me in her heart. Or probably, I am cramming in one pathetic, suffocating corner.

Okay, the best thing is not to assume or (even) try to fathom how our female counterparts organise their chain of thoughts. Because men are not engineered to do so. It is hard being a man you know. You intercept their thoughts (wrongly), they say you are egoistic, too sensitive and geh kiang not doing enough. You don't think so much, they say you are not sensitive and understanding.

Hey ladies, here's my $0.02's worth. Appreciate that there are men around you who try their very best in being sensitive. Don't take that for granted. You wouldn't know if your next man can do as good as your previous one, let alone doing better.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself

~ Wayne Dyer

I feel that my life is beginning to roll into monotony. Either this or I had lost the usual mood for blogging.

Not that I have nothing to blog about but rather, what should I blog about? Sometimes I'm really wondering if I should continue blogging about my emotional well-being with the uncalculated risk of having unwanted "guests" giving immature and really rude remarks.

In saying so, I'm not referring to king who usually tag with a colourful array of words or jimbi who likes to say I am a frog with acne (and I tend to introduce myself as froggy recently).

I'm referring to people of unknown identities who tagged before. And that really turns me off big time.

It had started to rain at 5 am. I wonder if it will rain till afternoon later on. Rain can bring both comfort and melancholy. Sweet smelling it is, but along with that, it is accompanied by a cloud of gloominess.

Intrinsically, I feel a lot more better. I had seen things through and scars are healing. Sometimes, I am quiet but that doesn't mean my mind is wandering off to the forbidden thoughts again. I am just like this. Am I so changed that my close friends couldn't recognise me anymore? Or is it me who couldn't recognise myself?

As I've always said, year 2005 so far has been rather bad and I would probably say with much certainty that this year (even though only half of it is gone) is the worst year of my entire 22 life on Earth. I see broken hearts, confused souls, indecisive humans, unpredicted deaths, materialistic beings. And the previously stated accumulate only to form the tip of the iceberg.

This modern world is really frightening and it makes me apprehensive of my future. Just so I experienced the world's ugliness in its mildest form and I felt appalled already. Materialism. Indecisiveness. Fickle-mindedness. Is it humans who change, or the things around us that change?

No, things around us don't change. We do.

I wish I would never grow up and stay the way all children are; innocent and oblivious to worldly changes and vices.

Challenges of this modern life is indeed disheartening and demoralising. On a lighter note, don't forget the unexpectancies of life and what pleasant things it can bring. Life wouldn't be interesting if there aren't any challenges or difficulties.

Buckle up and get ready for a rollercoaster ride through life. Enjoy the ride because you never know when it is going to end. Wallow in melancholy and melancholy will grip you in the neck grimly. Fight melancholy and you will emerge victorious.

Because what don't kill you makes you stronger.

I Am Red.

Why am I red? Because I am Hong Da.

Apart from that cheesiness, I'm red because I was blading from 12pm to 6pm. It was a time well-spent. Before I go on, I want to apologize to someone.

My cousin, Mike. Sorry couz. I think I've worn your wheels out. I love T-brakings.

I sweated like a pig because I am one. Apart from that cheesiness, the sun was out for the whole afternoon, defying the fact that it was supposed to be gloomy, not sunny as opposed to the past few days.

Ling and Siyi know how to fish! So next in line will be the planning for a BBQ and an overnight fishing expedition.

Actually I am freaking tired now. It's a long day tomorrow. Tuition, movie, zouking and chalet. *phew*

And people, don't say I'm "chui" anymore. I'm not.

"You have eyes but do not see. You have ears but do not hear. But when you can see, you do not understand. When you can hear, you do not learn."

In Loving Memories, Yu Kang Fei (1983 ~ 11th June 2005)

I went to Kang Fei's wake just now and heard the testimonies that his father and close friends had given. The atmosphere was solemn yet joyful. Solemn because he had passed on and all are in grief. Joyful because he had gone home to be with the Lord.

Indeed he had done the Lord's will in this world. And I believe his friends will carry on the legacy and his work that he had left behind.

Another elder relative of his stated one thing.

One can live till a hundred and accomplishes nothing. One can live till 22 and do His will to the best of his abilities."

Indeed he is a role model for all to emulate, be it a Christian or not.

He had spent his time wisely by getting friends to attend church. He was a small man with a big, magnanimous heart, ever ready to forgive. One of his friends uncontrollably broke down when he said," I thought I wasn't worthy to be his friend, but he was always there for me." He was smart and witty and he used this trait of his to create joy in his friends. He was ever receptive to new ideas and new people. One of his best traits was his gifted inter-personal intelligence (or we call it E.Q).

Another thing that touched my heart (as well as his father) is the reason why he wanted to be an officer so much. Apart for himself, it was for his father as well. After he was commissioned, he went to his parents' room one morning and presented his sword to his father.

"Dad, this is for you."

He was very bubbly and strong in the face of death. His cousin's friends said to his cousin (after visiting Kang Fei)," Are you sure he is diagnosed with leukemia? He looked as normal as anybody on the streets."

One of his close friend quoted what he had placed in his Friendster profile which had also touched my heart as a Christian.

*I'll question you and you shall answer me. My ears have heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore i despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.Job 42: 4-6*-*

I said to the Lord," You are my Lord, apart from you i have no good thing."Psalms 16:2*-

*I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means i might save some.1Cor9:22*-

If I have not impacted your life, my job on earth is not finished yet..

Someone worthy of respect and raw emulation. No two-way about it.

I now bid you a final farewell.

My Thoughts.

I couldn't help but to feel down and under whenever I see his face. Whenever I picture him as my bubbly yet serious colleague.

I can only say a silent prayer for him in my heart and pray that he will be happy with Him.

I really feel very depressed over the loss of such a nice friend.

Remorse is what I feel in my heart now. For not visiting him when he was first admitted into hospital. For not visiting him when I was free. For not doing what I should do as a friend.

I had taken a great friend for granted.

My heart is feeling so mixed up now. It feels so heavy, so bitter, so tight. Feel like crying because this is such a terrible feeling; to lose someone whom you never put in the effort to appreciate as a great buddy.

Somehow, I still have not accepted his demise from this world.

I still remember there was once I met him in Tampines when I was shopping for my Genting trip last year. I can't imagine that it would be the last time I see him smiling. The fact that he had left us slapped me harder in the face than my emotional problems. A lot more harder.

What Eric say is correct. Had you told the ones who you love, that you love them today?

Yes I love all my friends and brothers who had stood by me when I was down and under. I am thankful to God for your presence in my life. I pray for you people every night before I sleep.

I love those people who had crossed my path and made me understand certain important aspects of life. I am glad our paths had crossed.

I love my mum for being so ever-patient with me, my dad for teaching me life lessons and my brother for accompanying my parents when I was busy at times.

Sometimes, it is not about me feeling pessimistic about life but I feel that if words are needed to be spoken, feelings are needed to be expressed and actions are needed to be taken, we should do so. For we do not know what can happen the next minute.

In saying so, I want to tell her that she is still in my heart, every minute and second. Yes I still love you. But I expect no returns because love is unconditional. All I will do is to wish you well in your future.

The thought of losing your loved ones the very next moment makes my heart shudder with fear and apprehension. That thought made me feel that life is so small. So delicate.

I liken life to the smoke in the air,
now you see it, later it’s not there.
I write a poem just for you my friend,
as a last thing I can do, to show that I cared.

You had put up a good fight; we are proud of you.
You had always looked bubbly; you never looked blue.
You had done your best, in the end you yield.
God had ended your sufferings with His powerful seal.

You had gone home to be with the Lord our God,
I say a silent prayer for you, I will forget you not.
I will always appreciate; you once came into my life,
I bid you farewell now, you will always be in my thoughts.

You will always live in our hearts.

Amen.

A Tribute To You, My Friend.

Dear Kang Fei, you will always remain in our hearts.....

A Tribute To LTA Yu Kang Fei.

In this world, many things are fragile; vases, flower-pots, glasses, life.

I just got news of a colleague back in SAFPU who had passed on because of acute leukemia.

It was an inexplicable feeling I've felt when another friend told me about Kang Fei's wake. Like what Jiesheng had said, somehow we understand the fact that people our age do have mishaps and pass away as a result. But somehow, the fact hit us so suddenly, so much so that we are in a momentary status of shock. It feels like a terrible concoction of bitterness and sorrow.

I can't help but to visit his Friendster page again.

Uncontrollably, I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I looked at his photograph.

Flashbacks of memories came whizzing through my mind; the times when we played games in camp until everyone has booked out, the times when we chatted outside the mess and the time we enjoyed a can of beer during happy hours with the whole cohort of officers back there. He is a religious man, and a very loyal friend. A nice chap to chat with. Although I am not really close to him, I do feel something for his death.

I pray to the Lord that He will bring you home to His side where you will be eternally happy and your thirst for Him will be quenched by His fountain flowing with abundant grace and strength.

Such fragility of life.

Does it really take the death of someone you know to make you realise the importance of life?

Sadly, the supreme irony about life is that you will never get out of it alive. You only live once and die once. That's about it. Our lives on Earth is just a passing transition from birth to death.

Somehow, deaths of people I know, be it young or old, never fail to slap me with the fact that I should pluck up the courage and do the things I want to do, whether I will regret my actions or not.

Sometimes, why do people remain indecisive and wait? Must something bad happen to the person before one realises the importance of it?

And choose to regret and live in remorse for the rest of the life?

Kang Fei, you will always remain in the hearts of all SAFPUrians. May God bless your soul.

哈哈!

A bottle of Martell. Presumably, half drank by me. Yeah, I am one of the very few NIE students who drinks like like nobody's business when alcohol is available. Siyi (or rather, me who wanted it) opened a bottle of Martell, $50 bucks of the $158 kindly sponsored by me.

And I have a meeting tomorrow! Or rather, later. I shall blog again.

"全部不要动 mike! 给 Sharon 唱歌!"

Yah she refused to sing.

Don't worry. The day will come when she will sing.

Muahahaha!

Kiddish.

I managed to control myself by not meeting up with my regular drinking friends by drinking myself though it's payday. How sad.

Yah I went to Fisherman Village and drank alone.

It's Siyi's birthday today. Happy birthday girl!

Hopefully the blading trips for next week happen and my date will be free. Haha!

I wonder if I am human. Slept for 3 hours last night. And drank a jug of beer just now. And right now I am not sleepy. Still feel like playing games.

The music was cool at Fisherman's V just now. But I kinda hated R n B so I composed a dumb, kiddish poem. So here you go.

L is for laughter, S is for sad.
I always embrace the latter, I wonder if it's bad.

I take a deep breather, I want to be awake.
I sobered a little, but I feel afraid.

I mustered up my courage, and say I will forget.
Hiding my heart that aches, hiding the heart that regrets.

Okay the rest ain't composed yet. And I don't want to compose also. Haha!

Boo!

*Phew*

Okay, it's been a hard time editing certain minor parts of my blog. Slight changes only, except for the scrolling marquee of a poem that I had composed.

*Proud of myself*

Something puzzled me again just now. But it shall stay as a puzzle I guess. Time tells;, time will tell.

Theng is psycho-ing me to get a new bicycle. Yah and I reckon that would cost close to half a thousand bucks of investment. Oh well.

I realised I had the fetish to read other blogs now. Okay that's not a fetish. Perhaps a new-found nocturnal habit. It is interesting to read different perspectives of daily happenings.

Just so I may bitch and blog about it, so as to say.

Anyone game for some chilling out at Fisherman's Village tomorrow night?

p.s. I have to resort to chilling out in cheap places in order to save money. Puh-leese help me. Call me out and we shall chill.

*brrrrr*

Appreciation.

Just read one of my friend's blog and saw a meaningful post targetting mainly at this little but powerful word, "Appreciation". Very thought-provoking.

How often does one take time off to appreciate things around him/her, or even surrounding people?

The curse of modern life is the lack of appreciation. This deficit has caused many breakdowns in inter-personal relationships, at work, in families and sadly, probably also in the bond with your Almighty One.

Let me ask, who ever wakes up in the morning (in this case, afternoon for me) and tell yourself that you are glad to see this beautiful world once again? To feel the warm embrace of the beautiful sun, to smell the sweet-smelling rain, to see your friends on MSN talking to you happily and to see your parents smiling at you?

How many of you who are religious, pray to your Almighty One before you close your eyes for the day and say," Dear God, I thank You for what I've seen today, talked to today and for my friends who stood by me all these while when I was down."

How many of you actually take time off to appreciate whatever depressing things you had gone through and say," I am glad I had went through these rollercoaster rides because I had emerged stronger."

How many of you actually take time off to appreciate what your family, your friends and the strangers along the street (you've met and helped you with something) and say," I am thankful for those people I had interacted with and encountered. I am glad they had crossed my path and made me learn something new."

And lastly, how many of you take time off to pray, appreciate and give thanks for the fact that Singapore is still Singapore today; uninvaded and prospering by the day, for the fact that the sun still rises and shines vibrantly, for the fact that Singapore is a safe place to live in, for the fact that we have a nice environment to stay and grow in and lastly, for the fact that we are still alive?

Last but not least, for couples. How many of you actually appreciate each other for who they are, what they do and what they say? Or do you strive to change them to suit your liking? Or do you have the propensity to compare and say," dear, you are too possessive, unlike XXX's other-half." Or does your heart flutters because you had met someone more eligible than your present love?

Your present love is as good as it can get. Remember, you are with that special someone because of who he/she is initially. Changing someone to suit your emotional, physical preferences or even daily lifestyle is as good as making him/her live under your shadow. There's no life, no freedom of expression and these make up to be a potent concoction of deceit that changes your partner (probably forever).

Indeed, the curse of this modern world is the lack of appreciation.

Argh.

Bad thing done, compensating efforts made.
Things cannot be undone, feelings fade.
Sadness overwhelmed, words being said.
Hasty words said, wrong moves you’ve made.

My heart is scarred, behaviour is faked.
Who knows all these, all my heartbreaks.
Took a jug, drink till it’s drained.
Sorrows still float, to the brim of my brain.

I need her, to make me tamed.
I need the love, to keep me constrained.
I need the concern, to make me humane.
But I don’t need the loneliness, to make me insane.

Thanks for the sorrows, I can’t contain.
Thanks for the hatred, I can’t abstain.
Thanks for the realization, I can’t proclaim.
Thanks for the indecisiveness, which you’ve maintained.

Thanks for your love; because of you I’ve seen the world.

远走高飞

爱你错了吗
为什么会受到这么多惩罚
他们说的话像针往心里扎

我心中的怕 不知该怎么做才可以放下
只不过想好好的爱一次啊

带我远走高飞 不去理会
这一个蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪
是你让我选择沉醉繁星守侯月不能睡
只因为爱上了夜的黑

带我远走高飞
一起去追有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水
我已经感觉到疲累只想在你怀抱入睡
不在乎别人眼中是非

重新再出发
能不能让这天地不再吵杂
我的心里面安静得不像话

故事的真假 没有多余的力气去分辨他
只不过想好好的爱一次啊

Our face met as fate allowed,
My emotions stirred as I forced a smile.
I started talking and things seemed mild,
My mind is churning, no one can tell.

My heart grew heavier as time dragged on,
I doubted you knew because I looked so strong.
Started to feel again, it can’t be wrong.
I guess it’s a bad day after all.

I’m too lost in you, I can’t find myself.
I want to break free from this prison cell.
Only one way to do it; is to keep you repelled,
Out of my sight then maybe I’ll be well.

This Is So Hilarious!

I can't help but to show you people my hero.

Click on these two links to see my hero.

1. Hero (unknown fighter)
2. Hero (Cool picture *drools*)

It is a bad day. Sick with a running nose and insufficient sleep. And my brain got to tell me that I am at my optimum for doing work tonight.

Got to sleep soon; it's a long day tomorrow.

I love my hero. *muacks*

Nice Songs.

Heard some nice songs with meaningful lyrics just now. Do take a look.

1. 張智霖 - 相愛無夢
2. 李圣杰 - 远走高飞

Enjoy. (",)

凌晨五点钟

凌晨五点钟. I am still here. Meeting at 11am in school later. Recce for Teachers' Challenge locations after meeting. Buy Joyce's present and accompany Theng after recce.

Loads of personal administration to do.

Some government letters to reply.

Three library books to return.

Woah. Those are only 1/10 of what I have to do.

And I am still awake now!

Nuff said.

Hmm...

Got a feeling that something's going between two person who are not that close, somehow.

Okay, not exactly something's going on, but maybe they had been chatting and stuff. Oh well, my gut feelings are always wrong.

At least when it comes to predicting the opposite sex. Muahaha!

None of my business anyway.

Good morning people.

*Yawns*

Three Days of Shit.

It's been kinda long since I last blogged (considering the fact that I blog almost EVERYDAY) and I think it has been 3 days. Lost the mood for blogging during these past 3 days.

Sharity Camp was fun and "hot". Wearing the head of the costume is much more worst than wearing the darn Kevlar helmet I used to wear back in the army. Yes I am the freaking mascot, Sharity Elephant. Kids can't wait to hug and punch me. Cause I looked so fat in that.

Kids nowadays are getting smarter. Imagine them asking my friends," who is going to be Sharity Elephant?" Lower Primary kids somemore. But I must admit, they are adorable, really.

After the two-day day camp, went to Gotham Penthouse with Jimmy & Co. There's really a lot of people. In saying so, I meant there's a lot of Indians. And Caucasian females make up the second majority. Booze was cheap, 20 bucks per mini jug of Heineken.

Went for supper at Lavender. Pig's organ soup! And Shirley got to comment SOOOOOOOOOO much on my face. "Seriously you got to do something about your acne."

'Nuff said.

But it was pretty cool talking to them 'cos I was the main entertainer. And obviously, I'm a happy man because my stomach was filled.

Sleep at 7 after a game of "war" in front of my computer and woke up at 1 for a blading session at East Coast Park with NIE friends like Siyi, Lingling, Olivia and Quek. Poor Siyi, doesn't know how to blade. So we were her mentors. You can't imagine how much cold sweat her palms broke out as I helped her along with her "walking-on-blades" beginner stage. *Oops* I don't mean to disclose that. Haha!

Went for a nice dinner at the Food Village with lotsa spicy stuff. Discussed about shopping plans and clubbing trips. But hard to fulfil. I foresee them NOT happening. That's really pessimistic and being a cold blanket. Heck.

And did I say I bruised myself yet another time today? I never fail to bruise myself everytime I blade. But this time round (like the last time), it was an accident. This I swear.

Went home and a big thanks to Quek for driving me back.

Theng asked me for a cycling trip tonight. But it ended up into another supper cum drinking session. Nice booze, nice chatting. And here I am back at home blogging. I want a new mobile phone! Can my brothers get one for me for my upcoming birthday (Nokia 6680 please)?

*Evil grinx*

Thanks ah (in advance). Good night!

ANGRY POST.

I - "I’m
N - Not
S - Sensitive?
E - Essentially,
N - Nothing I’ve
S - Said
I - Is
T - To
I - Ignite your
V - Varying
E - Emotions."

WHAT HAD THIS WORLD CAME TO?

I FEEL SO...ARGH! INJUSTICE!@

Poor blog. I have to take it out on you. Poor MSN. You got it hard too.

How come my emotions are so strong tonight? I WAS FINE JUST NOW.

Can't you be MORE sensitive? MORE MORE MORE!

IIIIIIIRRRRRIIIIITTTTTAAAAATTTTTIIIIINNNNNGGGGG.

Sometimes, you may think it is alright, but you have to understand how I feel also. It is not about being friends or the status and blah blah blah. It is about how much you understanding me. And I believe you know and you do understand.

Period.

Shagged. Totally Shagedelic.

Thanks to my nocturnal habits, once again I feel totally shagged out. From the recce-ing and jogging two days ago. Legs aching, sun scorching, eyes closing and mind boogling. You get the idea.

But whenever I faces this beloved computer of mine, I was rejuvenated.

I got a total shock when I saw Eric' MSN message to me. Like, TOTALLY. And friends informed me that the postings for School Experience is out.

I got posted to St. Gabriel's Primary School. 41 minutes of bus ride can? Luckily Yibin had gotten Parry Primary School, so I will still have a free ride because his school is only beside mine.

And now I am preparing for the Sharity Camp. Yea I am the pink mascot and games coordinator.

Aiyah nothing to blog about tonight. Still have loads of work for Teachers' Challenge to do. It is never ending.

Good night and may the good Lord bless all my friends and loved ones.