I AM BORED.

Life's been good and great.

I just need more things in my life to occupy my nights.

If only there are no nights in this world.

If only.

There are simply too many "if only"s in this realistic world.

Especially in Singapore. Circumstances forced us to have characters that are unlike of us. Circumstances forced our lifestyles to change.

Circumstances in this society bring out the worst in people. Yeah.

Drunk.

Sometimes, drinking does not make you feel better. Especially when you are ALMOST drunk.

Till the extent when you've forgotten where you placed your phone at. I do blame myself for drinking and getting too emotional about things but I must admit, I never got so emotional and drunk before. Even months and years back.

If some of my friends are around, I would have gotten hell of a scolding from them.

When it comes to affairs of the heart, it is hard to comprehend, especially when you put in so much yet some of it all went unreciprocated. I'm not asking for sympathy here but I just want to voice out opinions.

This got to be true because I had enough beer.

I really don't understand how girls think. I really hope that one day, they would be "burnt by fire", so much so that they will realised facts.

You never know how ugly is the world out there, even if you are working now.

I really feel like puking now, although the alcohol in me is unbearable.

But what disgusts me and makes me want to puke most is the way how girls nowadays treat their boyfriends.

Sorry about the pessimism girls, but I can't help it.

Beer makes me regurgitate out my inner-most thoughts.

I am thoroughly disgusted. And I hope that you will see this post.

Friends we shall be, but the disappointment and hurt will always remain.

Not ready? Not sure of what you want?

C'mon, then don't promise things. I'm sure you know how important promises are to me.

约定

This song brings tears to my eyes.

Smooth, emotional and totally sentimental.

I love this song.

Two Muffins.

So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

绝口不提爱你

闭上眼睛忍住呼吸
暂时要和世界脱离
就快要学会不再想你
却听见不断跳动的心

我允许了你
我让爱的自由还给你
允许了自己
承受这悲伤到天明

我不愿放弃却要故意默默允许
我答应自己爱你的心绝口不提
总是以为终究化作云淡风轻
爱你到底痛了自己

我不愿放弃却要故意默默允许
我答应自己爱你的心绝口不提
所有结局在这夜里都已成形
爱到了底痛的是我的真心

Sometimes.

Sometimes, I am really at a loss at what to do.

My heart tells me one thing, the mind tells me another.

It really brought me to a point of a lose-lose situation.

It saddens me to see things change so fast. It saddens me to see how fast a person change. It saddens me to see things going down the drain in a matter of weeks, after what has been built up in years.

The truth is cruel, but before that time, I've given my all.

As tired as I am, things are hard to forsake after so much, so much things that have been endured.

Feelings? They come and go. Love? They don't remain throughout a relationship. At least that is what I had felt. But still, I endured. What comes? Nothing.

That book was a good read; it made me understood a lot of things. But in the chronological aspect, things are too late beyond redemption by the time the book was read. Not by me though.

If I was given a choice to relive the past, I rather live an innocent life. It felt so wrong to be pushed down.

Square One.

It all went back to square one again

What happened to the words on the V-Day gift that I was given?

What happened to the testimonial?

What happened to words that appear in my life over and over again?

Talk is cheap.

Driving is tiring and wearing a pair of spectacles makes me even more tired.

Frogs don't like raining days, but he has got to learn to love them because this is Singapore.

I am learning to be more cruel, and not to be too trusting because words are too scheming.

Sometimes, you really never change.

My new skin is up! Heh.

No Sonic, no quizzes, no quotes, no jokes, no nothing.

Simplicity is really beautiful.

In life, everybody need some love and motivation.

I got to find mine soon.

"Zhou Bang"

I seemed to have dreams every night since my driving test.

Scary ones, sad ones, excited ones but all too realistic in my mind.

Can I forget about sleeping so I won't dream?

It is hard to put things off my mind.

In a way, I guess I might have just wasted a few years of my life. My words and thoughts went to naught, and the worst is they don't get assimilated.

Are things better this way?

Perhaps.

Everyone has different goals and priorities in life. This is what I really really understood after so long.

And the price is a heavy one to pay.

I don't really understand some things. Although I understood some of them, how about you? Ever took them in my shoes and see how I've felt all these while?

Sometimes, words are not required to be exchanged or spoken. Words can be felt somehow. I tried putting words across nicely. But why are you still agitated? Feelings fading again?

Oh man. Don't tell me the same old crap again.

I guess I am just too young, and I think ahead of my age.

Good night.

Three Parts.

I believe in every single homosapien, they have three important aspects of them which make their lives complete. The spiritual self, the physical self and the emotional self.

You will need a substantial level of each of them in order to function properly.

You have to believe in something, be it an Almighty, be it fate or what-nots. That is what keeps your faith and belief in life going, knowing that life is ultimately under control by an Unseen One.

The second one, obviously, is a no-brainer.

The third one, essentially love. A special someone, friends, family are requirements for you in order to seek out a hollistic life on Earth before you lie six feet under. Their encouragement, motivation, strength and faith are stepping stones to a fulfilling life.

Sounds easy, but the steps towards establishing a foothold in each of them are no easy tasks, unless you are a simpleton.

The mind is powerful. As they always say, mind over body. And I quote;

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

~ 1 Corinthians, 13:13

Everyone needs love. Be it spiritual love, emotional love or a friendly love. Sad enough, Man has changed throughout history, sufficient enough to obscure the meaning of love. Forget the so-called honeymoon period in a relationship. After years, how many of you take the effort to show appreciation for your family and loved ones by saying a simple "I love you?" Or even show simple acts of service to show your appreciation? Sometimes, the meaning(s) of love is/are perceived in differing ideas amongst individuals. What defines love? A question that sages and saints of time cannot really answer comprehensibly. You do one thing and you think it is showing love. But how sure are you that it is perceived in the same manner in the other mate? We don't call that kind of love "unappreciated love." It may jolly well be just a type of love that fails to give security and assurance as well as a sense of well-being to the others.

You take a look at this classic example. Parents buy lots of gifts for their only child so that he/she is occupied while they work. The parents thought this act was an act of love. The child goes out and mixes with streetside gangs. Because the child derives love from this kind of activity.

Bring this example into a BGR. What you see as love may not be the same as what the other mate sees. You are speaking in a different love language as he/she does. Makes sense?

Things will definitely change after a year or two because of that "madly-in-love" euphoria which covers and overwrites all the "dark" sides of your partner. You just can't see it and even if you see it, you will either brush it aside as nonsense, or you will find excuses tfor yourself. This is an innate and uncontrollable behaviour embedded deep inside a human brain sinces eons ago (hey, this is scientifically documented). The desire and the need to survive and breed your own kinds. After this urge dies off, here comes the test of real love. Are you still able to handle your "new-found" love in a positive light and tackle it in a realistic yet constructive manner? This is a real test of your mental, emotional and physical character.

No one can ascertain the future. You take the risk yourself.

Good night people.

Interesting.

I cannot imagine that I just bought a book from Mount Zion today. Interesting book talking about the five languages of love.

So far, the content has been pretty engaging and thought - provoking. It gave me a new perspective to love.

And I did a lot of self - assessment these past few weeks. It seems that I am pretty negative about life. Not that I have portrayed myself that way since I looked almost chirpy on he outside but deep inside I am harbouring serious thoughts.

I realised that I know what I wanted in this life, but somehow, people don't see this side of me. I would say it is pretty hard to guess my thoughts from time to time because I appear nonchalent even to serious matters.

How do other people look at me? How do they assess my character and personality? This I would pretty much want to know. How people really think of me as a friend, as a leader and as a boyfriend.

Something that is boogling my mind for the past few weeks must be club work. No understudy for me and I foresee a tough time ahead. Am I such a bad leader that I am unable to motivate potential leaders enough to undertake this future club presidency? Sometimes I really question my leadership abilities. I am not a ready-made leader from birth and I have my flaws. Did I lack the training, or it is just me?

Darn, I am so in an organisational mess at home.

The only easy day was yesterday.