Okie dork...this is my first blog. (",) Well, nothing actually inspired me to start a blog except for the fact that life became pretty boring recently with the pathetic lack of money and activities to do. Shall wait patiently for the 12th of Dec to come..hurhur~
Last night was saddening for me. Went to Devil's Bar to celebrate an old friend's birthday. Saw people drinking happily while flirting with gals. Saw people dancing with gals. Looks so sensual eh? Yes it totally is, and it is totally cool. But i wasn't cool with it. Thought back of all the things i had done in the past, and why things ended up this way between me and her. Well, what is done cannot be undone and this shall be a scar of guilt and remorse staying forever in my inner heart...
When i left the bar at approx. 1am last night, i was hungry. Hey, imagine drinking with only the half-digested cheeseburger in your tummy for the whole damn day? So i walked down from the forum to Selegie for makan, since i had a whole darn load of time..
As i walked down the whole stretch of Orchard, saw many things and they brought many thoughts. First things first, i saw a few tranvestites with a few ang mohs..haha (but that is besides the point)! Saw the beautiful Christmas lights which i came to appreciate last night only. Thinking back, i was really treating her for granted. Should had done more romantic things with her like viewing the lights every year with her and taking lots and lots of pictures to commemorate every Christmas season. Next, i walked past Cineleisure and was reminded of the times when i was still a cadet in OCS. When i booked out as a OCT back then, we spent our Saturdays going to town in the evening, have a sumptuous dinner before going to Cineleisure and watch a midnight show, then making our way home in a cab. Although this may sound monotonous and boring, it seemed to hit me yesterday that actually, it is very romantic and sweet to spend Saturday nights like this with your beloved. Walking to Plaza Singapura, another place where we used to have late night shows and supper on Saturdays. Then i reached Selegie for supper. Alone. How sad.
Somehow, it is always human tendency to reminisce about the past when one is alone in a quiet environment. Thoughts just flow incesssantly into your mind, filling it with endless guilt, remorse and helplessness. Helpless in the sense that right now, you are not able to bring back what is in the past. Not able to make her happy. Not able to do alot of things for her. Sigh.
With all these bugging me, i shall not be disheartened. Always. Because i believe in her, i believe in myself. I believe time will heal. And i believe one day, she will be touched.
True love withstand everything.
True love never fail....
