I feel that my life is beginning to roll into monotony. Either this or I had lost the usual mood for blogging.

Not that I have nothing to blog about but rather, what should I blog about? Sometimes I'm really wondering if I should continue blogging about my emotional well-being with the uncalculated risk of having unwanted "guests" giving immature and really rude remarks.

In saying so, I'm not referring to king who usually tag with a colourful array of words or jimbi who likes to say I am a frog with acne (and I tend to introduce myself as froggy recently).

I'm referring to people of unknown identities who tagged before. And that really turns me off big time.

It had started to rain at 5 am. I wonder if it will rain till afternoon later on. Rain can bring both comfort and melancholy. Sweet smelling it is, but along with that, it is accompanied by a cloud of gloominess.

Intrinsically, I feel a lot more better. I had seen things through and scars are healing. Sometimes, I am quiet but that doesn't mean my mind is wandering off to the forbidden thoughts again. I am just like this. Am I so changed that my close friends couldn't recognise me anymore? Or is it me who couldn't recognise myself?

As I've always said, year 2005 so far has been rather bad and I would probably say with much certainty that this year (even though only half of it is gone) is the worst year of my entire 22 life on Earth. I see broken hearts, confused souls, indecisive humans, unpredicted deaths, materialistic beings. And the previously stated accumulate only to form the tip of the iceberg.

This modern world is really frightening and it makes me apprehensive of my future. Just so I experienced the world's ugliness in its mildest form and I felt appalled already. Materialism. Indecisiveness. Fickle-mindedness. Is it humans who change, or the things around us that change?

No, things around us don't change. We do.

I wish I would never grow up and stay the way all children are; innocent and oblivious to worldly changes and vices.

Challenges of this modern life is indeed disheartening and demoralising. On a lighter note, don't forget the unexpectancies of life and what pleasant things it can bring. Life wouldn't be interesting if there aren't any challenges or difficulties.

Buckle up and get ready for a rollercoaster ride through life. Enjoy the ride because you never know when it is going to end. Wallow in melancholy and melancholy will grip you in the neck grimly. Fight melancholy and you will emerge victorious.

Because what don't kill you makes you stronger.