Bad Days.

Four more bad days to go before deadlines are over. And I am doing my project now RIGHT after lunch.

I just feel so lethargic and restless today, despite the fact that i've slept the most last night in this week so far.

And I had a pretty weird dream last night that left me pondering if it was true. In fact it wasn't even a dream. It's like something which i thought already happened to me the day before, and i wake up just to feel...weird? I just don't know how to explain it all.

I am beginning to feel the stress so much that i even used a calculator last night to sum up the addition of 120 and 200. I am just afraid that if i don't feel much stress today, the aftermath of it all will come rolling towards me like a catastrophe.

Sometimes, a person may not seem to be as simple as he/she looks. Hidden behind the innocent face could be another layer full of untold complications and problems.

Problems shall remind as problems unless we talk about it and solve the problem at its roots. Not thinking about it doesn't help things at all. And for all we know, when the problem resurfaces, it may be much more difficult to solve it after all.

Simple me don't want to assume things already. I am tired and sick of myself assuming and thinking too much.

Bad...

Sigh, today had been kind of unproductive. Stayed in school to do research but found nothing much. What's going on man?

Another close buddy landed into shit again. But I don't know what happened. What could be worst than feeling helpless...helpless in the sense that you can't even do anything to alleviate his pains.

This week is a week to remember. Deadlines approaching and yet nothing comes out of me.

It is just all so sucky.

Unimaginable.

Something unimaginable happened just now.

I can't imagine that I actually advised her on her problem just now.

It's all just so ironic to advise her on issues which turn me off normally. But just now I just blurted and blurted out advice after advice unknowingly.

After that, my assignment screwed up. Imagine doing the wrong question and only realised it after the whole darn thing was completed after 3 hours. Spent another hour struggling and luckily it was done just 5 minutes ago.

Does my picture bring back emotions and feelings? Or does it symbolise guilt on your part?

My heart was shuddering and I felt a pinch and sourness emerging out of me just now when we were chatting. But why?

One thing I can ascertain; it wasn't feelings for sure. So what gave my heart that sourness?

I have only 3 hours left for sleeping, but I can't settle down yet.

It is better to know and limit oneself before things get out of hand. Don't play with fire; you'll get burnt unknowingly one day.

And speaking from personal experience, the scars will remain with one for life.

Good night.

Retail Therapy.

Weeeee...I'm going out for tuition soon, and got to do some small-time retail therapy. I love Lian Tong's spectacles. And I want to make my own pair too!

Just feel like shopping i don't know why. Had my CTE 102 test yesterday morning. Was so freaking glad that I wasn't affected by what Anqi said. Whoa!

I love Jimmy and company. Just seemed to forget everything when i'm with them. It's somehow a very consoling feeling because i don't get to feel melancholic at all when they passed sarcastic remarks on me and i have to think of words to rebute.

But somehow, Jimmy was the only one who managed to read my mind last night. And I am glad to have a brother like him. Seemed that no one knows when I am melancholic through my facial expressions except him.

How can someone still slim down when we ate all the good food for the past few weeks? Ice cream, Fish & Co, Han's etc. Unless we have the same high metabolism rate. Haha!

I love Bak Kut Teh.

Things You Might Want To Know About Me Today.

1. Melancholic.
2. Sad.
3. Depressed.
4. Unwanted.
5. Uncomforted.
6.Turmoil.
6. Screwed.
7. Stressed.
8. Bitter.
9. Ashamed.
10. Bottled up.
11. Chilidish.
12. Confused.
13. Disappointed.
14. Emotional.
15. Frustrated.
16. Hopeless.
17. Lonely.
18. Loser.
19. Stuffed up.
20. Torned up.
21. Withdrawn.

All in all, I'm

Nice Chatting Tonight

Had a pretty nice chat session with Zhenchang. And still chatting now!

He's a cool dude whom was pretty close together since Secondary 2. It's been long since we chatted and of course, it is nice to catch up with him.

Probably for some booze after the exams.

Some things are bothering me. But I don't want to mention. Haha!

Is my mind in a state of turmoil now? Is my mind in a state of confusion now?

I don't think so. I tihnk i am just sleepy. But hanging on there just for Chang!

Got to return to school tomorrow to do some assignments.

And i hate CTE 102. Test this Saturday. And go cycling with Tze Theng after that in Pulau Ubin.

This is my life.

Rainy Days Thoughts.

Somehow rainy days make me feel melancholic. Slightly only.

The thought of snuggling up in a single bed with your loved one on a rainy day is nice.

The thought of spending some quality and quiet times just chatting with your loved one is nice.

The thought of having your loved one on your mind constantly is nice.

The thought of cooking a nice American breakfast for your loved one is nice.

The thought of just sitting down and watching TV with your loved one is nice.

The thought of being able to talk openly to your loved one without being labelled "egoistical" is nice.

The thought of waiting up for your loved one and sleep after she is asleep, is nice.

The thought of knowing that your loved one is always there for you is nice.

So many many thoughts on a rainy day.

I thought that the holidays would be a nice time to do big-time retail therapy, rollerblading, chilling out on Siloso Beach with a Tiger 6-pack and of course, spending time with the one on the beach and just admiring the scenaries.

*prays*

Bad Day So Far.

I'm in my school library now. And it has been bad so far.

Printed over 100 pages of notes. Because I've forgotten to print 4 pages per slide.

Well done.

The sun had gone hiding again. Don't think I am able to get a tan for today.

I think I am hopelessly falling again into that darn abyss.

Frustrations build up in me, unable to vent it all out.

Tiredness is bugging me, asking me to give it all up.

I have my first tuition class tomorrow evening. And I have no confidence in myself.

Nuff' said.

Tiring, tiring.

At Jimmy's request, I had changed my skin again. Hope it's better now Jimbi.

It had been a long day today.

Had dinner at Ajisen Tampines and ate beef ramen, salmon sushi and iced lemon tea.

Saw Shuqin, Jieming and Junting. But only said hi to Shuqin though. He probably felt awkward to say hi. And Junting never really saw me.

Walked around for awhile before going home.

With a whole load of shit waiting for me to complete them.

Now it's almost done, I shall blog.

I am so tired, both physically and mentally.

But I don't want to sleep. Maybe I felt the urge to give someone company?

Going to meet up with Princess tomorrow night.

My eyes are bloodshot and my eyebags are more obvious than ever.

I guess some parts of me never change when it comes to the emotional me.

Zzzzzz.

Blogophobia.

Sometimes i hope i can develop a phobia towards blogging. Then i will stop venting my frustrations on this little webpage of mine. And stop visiting other blogs altogether.

What happens when one have so much feelings bottled up and yet unable to express it to anyone or even anything, in the case of blogging?

Too bad, my itchy fingers got me into this melancholic mood just before my Genetics test later.

How come i am still thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking about something which i should had and HAD let go already? My heart just jumped a beat when i saw things which i shouldn't had seen at all. How is that possible when you already don't feel any sense of attachment already?

My heart was healed, but it was exacerbated again. Slightly. I hope this is just something minor which i will forget after i wake up the next morning.

It is just so sad to see incidents happening again because of me, me and just me. I know it is my fault but can we stop all these cyber-bullying and targetting? It is just so sick and disgusting you know. Can't just one stop things when it is sufficient? And stop rebutting even if it was targetted at you? If this keeps on going, the vengeance never stops.

I'm sorry if i've said anything wrong because i don't know the facts of all these.

But all i know is that....

....it started with my failed relationship.

The Officers' Creed.

Was thinking about it while chatting with Eric. It's hard to follow what was been inscribed on the white marble in the Ceremonial hall.

But I'll try. *grins*

The Officers' Creed

I am an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.

My Duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome.

I lead my men by example.

I answer for their training, morale and discipline.

I must excel in everything I do.

I serve with pride, honour and integrity.

I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.

I dedicate my life to Singapore.

Miserable.

Holding on to my bowl of empty instant noodles soup, i stared at my blog.

Feeling miserable. And i don't think anyone would be able to counsel me on that.

Darn the after effects of drinking.

I think i'm feeling vulnerable again. But it's okay because this feeling comes and goes.

Does it matter anyway?

No it doesn't.

I want to reiterate; i just want to be simple.

Drinking.

Drinking is kinda bad. I feel the aftermath coming. Not the hangover, but the effects you have when u reached home. You just don't feel like sleeping but instead you want to blog. And that's when feelings of different multitudes come in.

Jimmy was high and almost drunk. Eric, please laugh. Haha...It's rare to see him like this.

And I almost lost my wallet. Thank God for Jimmy and Ben who went back to look for it after the first round of searching.

Messaged Princess because i thought she wan't sleeping yet. But i guess she is. Because there ain't replying. Never mind.

I just hope that i won't drink so much in future before the exams because i will think about alot of things, and that makes my head swirl. I cannot stop myself from thinking but again, what's the point? It won't help things at all. I think it's just a wishful thinking on my part.

I just want to be simple. Simple me.

Who can appreciate that?

I can't be simple for now because circumstances don't allow that. I shall stay the way it is.

Good night.

Princess Called Me...

I am talking to Princess now because she said I am evil and don't let her sleep. So she called and disturb me. Then Princess gave me that kind of "teh" voice because she is sleepy.

Yesterday we went to out to eat and spent hell of a money. But not as bad as her. Because she bought two pieces of clothes that cost around 120 bucks. And I wouldn't spend alot of money even if I had more than enough to spend. I think most probably i will spend it on Man's best friend: beer.

I am being evil today. She finally don't feel like sleeping. This is good because she can talk to Froggy now. Haha.

I think Jimmy is going to suan me again later because he said he wants to laugh at me and the joke about me being a frog.

Okay let me talk about my new skin now. It is a simple skin with nothing elaborate. Because i just want to be simple. I want to live in a countryside with just plains and beautiful natural scenaries around me. Just me and my loved one and my children and maybe have a small farm of my own.

I want to escape from the harsh realities of life. But how possible could that be?

Time to meet Jimmy. Tata.

Good Day!

Okay, it has been decided that I shall keep some things to myself because they are immature issues and unworthy of mentioning. (",)

Life.

What do you like about life? The smell of the sweet-smelling rain? The sight of the beautiful sunrise? The feeling of being with your loved ones?

What about me?

I love life the way it is sometimes. I like to ponder in my own little box. I ponder about things when I swim; when everything around me is just water, and the sound of my own breathing.

I ponder about things when i shower; when hot water gushes down from my head.

I ponder about things when the wind blows onto me at the beach; when i feel that i'm all alone in this world.

I ponder about things when i cycle alone; when i hear nothing but my voice resonating within me.

I wish that i could cycle forever. Perhaps my voice will tell me the answers to my life now.

Crisis after crisis followed this year. A failed relationship, Mum falling ill, low self-esteem, backstabbings. What is this all about?

I very much appreciate what's around me when i wake up to see this world once again. I gave thanks for everything and everything. Because I've learnt to appreciate.

But why do all these crisises still hurt me so much? Yes i've gotten over some. But there's more to come.

I pray that the results will be negative for Mum tomorrow.

She is such a benevolent and caring mother to her sons. So tolerating and patient. What had she done to deserve that warning?

This is seriously disturbing. And all i can do is just to wait painfully for tomorrow to come.

Who understands how I feel at times, who understands what i want in life?

Perhaps it is only me, myself and I. What's the point of sharing sometimes?

My friends have their own commitments, i don't blame them and i won't want to disturb them. I can only box myself up in this little private space of mine.

Who takes the effort to ask why my nickname in MSN is as such? And who follows up after that?

Perhaps I'm asking for too much. Because I am FUCKING vulnerable now. Because i yearn for someone special to give me the emotional support I want. Because life is so hectic that i don't want to do anything much about it but to enjoy myself while i can.

I am strong on the outside but weak inside. I am not appealing on the outside but rich in the heart.

How many of you actually appreciates me for who i am? I really don't know.

"All returns to earth and dust."

Oh Princess.

Okay, I am Froggy, and there's Princess also. Haha. Courtesy of Jimmy and Eric for calling me a frog if Jimmy had kissed me. Princess got her name because she thought she is (was) one.

Nice.

Met up with Princess in Tampines and had a hell of a fun time. As per normal after doing some shopping, we had dinner. Princess cannot resist the temptation and ordered a set dinner.

Darn can she eat fast. And she finished up everything despite telling me she's NOT hungry. And the best part. She suggested desserts after dinner. And her mum cooked her fair share of dinner.

Oh yah, before we went for dinner, she bought a topless woollen hat from Samuel & Kevin's. How funny eh? A pink topless woollen hat. Haha!

And she refused to try on any apparels with the brand name imprinted on the front. Choosy Princess. She needs more sleeveless tops.

Went for ice cream after that. Chatted about my past for awhile and took some pictures. Unfortunately my digicam went dead. All of the pictures lost.

Darn.

It was close to 2300 hrs when i sent her back. And she wanted to be called Princess from then on. Demanding.

I hope she managed to finish up her dinner at home. You go girl~

Vulnerable Me.

Do you people hope for someone dear to fall back on when you feel vulnerable and weak? Will you yearn for someone badly when you felt tired and needed encouragement?

I do.

And I felt so vulnerable recently, much to my surprise.

When I'm out with my friends, I felt so normal. But with thoughts running in my mind without rest. Don't ask me what thoughts are those. Because....

........sometimes things are just meant to stay the way it is now, better not to pursue. The higher you place your hopes, the more painful is your fall. I rather know where is my limit than to risk falling.

Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me. Because physical fatigue is setting in. Time is running out. And my body can't take it much longer.

I'm just happy with the way things are now. And I hope time will stop somehow, especially at the times when I felt the happiest.

Sometimes you just know that it is not rebound love, but you dare not advance because of the fear of misunderstanding. Sometimes people might just take it that you just need someone foir the sake of having someone and that's about it.

But would anyone ever understand how I feel?

And it is hard to ignore those feelings boiling inside me all the time.

But I just have to bare with it with all reluctance.

Tempted.

Okay, I was tempted to pen down my useless thoughts again without regards for the lateness. Waking up in 3 hours time but heck.

Had a freaking hell of a time with Jimbo at East Coast Park in the day. Thanks for all the sarcasm and I love you for that bro. You never fail to make me laugh when you are sarcastic towards me. And i never fail to make you laugh when you see my picture you took.

The "candy" (candid) shot.

How can anyone ever mispronounce that? Or even mistaken the spelling for that matter?

Think there is a slight alcohol overdose for this weekend. Friday with lots of booze, Saturday with just a bottle of Hoegaarden (yay~) and today with 4 bottles of beer.

Now where did the beer belly of mine go to?

Aw i am hungry again. And i am yearning for pork porridge with egg at Bedok 85.

I am thankful for people I've met up with just now. Thank you guys for being with me.

Looks delicious.
Taken intentionally

Eh Jimbo, I don't want to blog tonight. But for your sake this picture is up. Solely for your entertainment.
Taken intentionally

A Letter To You.

Do you not know how important you are to me? Do you know that I need you almost everyday? I can't live without you. But how could you be so heartless to leave me at this critical period when I'll be having my exams soon? Don't you know that i did not mistreat you or go to others although they are better? Everytime I hear you making noises, i feel so glad. This shows that you are still with me. Everytime i see you in my room i just can't wait to pamper you.

Can you please come back to me?

I really need you so much, so much.

I apologize. Okay?

I'm sorry my dear Printer.

One-Liners Thoughts.

I feel so lazy today. Supposed to be out by now to meet a friend for a talk. But I just can't drag myself to the washroom and shower. I just want to lie on my bed and daydream about my future. How would it be like. How nice....

Then a message from my mobile phone pricked on my balloon of thoughts.

It's just so nice to lie on your bed and listen to your favourite song all day long. It is just so nice to stay at home at times.

And Friendster cannot differentiate numbers. It stated that there are 6 or 7 photographs for a certain profile. When you want to view all the pictures, sometimes there's only one.

And testimonials went amok. Maybe eaten up by ants already. Don't know where they are.

And MSN is so quiet today. Ain't this supposed to be the critical period and everyone's out? Oh i felt as if i have no life.

And i had a very very weird dream just now. Trust me, it is absurd.

I dreamt of Anqi's mum. Gosh.

I don't think it is the remnant of subconscious attachment to her family. Perhaps? But they are really nice folks.

I need a haircut badly but it seemed that my weekend is packed. What should i do after service at 8.30pm later?

Ritchie Ren's 爱的路上只有我和你 totally rocks.

You still think you might look like a teacher? Don't take already lah!
Taken intentionally

Idiot. You think you look like a teacher? 

Eh JimbOOooOOO! 

Ah hah! The guys in their full glamour. 

Are you dancing? 

Eh? 

Samuel and Keith. Erm, sorry. It's Samuel and Cornelius. 

These are the people who came early for the gathering. Weirong and Zhenyuan!!! 

Lihua wants me to drink with her. She ish very happy. 

Melancholic Me.

I had gotten over things totally. But i don't know why i felt so melancholic now. That's why i decided to blog despite bouts of beer and liquor at Devil's Bar.

I saw many things happening tonight. A dear primary friend of mine was so sad when another primary school friend of mine is leaving for 5 years to work because she loves him. But things remained silent all these while and i don't really know why. For perhaps 2 years already. It's a complicated story and i shan't say much. But it really disturbed me. My friend wanting to whack a guy because that guy hugged his girl while dancing. That was at Devil's Bar.

I found life so mundane somehow, and i wished i could get out of this mundanity.

I see my future and knew what i want. But is it all so hard to achieve it?

It is the first time i stayed so late in Devil's Bar. Till closing. And memories came into my mind. In fact, memories came into my mind for the whole darn night.

No it wasn't about her. As i've said, there's nothing more to say for that. It was about other issues.

Somehow, things just happened and perhaps i should just appreciate that it happened before. At least the taste of it remains. The sweetness and joy i felt.

It is always nice to have someone who is appreciative for who you are.

But let me ask you: how many people are out there who appreciates you for who you are?

Actually i have many other thoughts coming into my mind. Thoughts that are worthy of thinking but not worthy of mentioning. But that was when i was showering just now but clean forgotten already. Maybe i should invest in a waterproof computer and blog while i shower.

Right.

Sometimes, you just cannot pen your thoughts down in blogs because you will hurt others, mislead others or even kill friendships.

Nonetheless, I am thankful for my primary school friends who took such great care of me while i was having a bad headache during drinking. Thank you Glen and Weirong (if i still remembered correctly), for keeping my phone with you guys while i rested.

Life is so tiring. But i have to go on. For i see my future lying in front of me, waiting to be achieved.

Ignore this post, i'm drunk.

Stoning while Jamie is busy. 

My eyebags and Maurice at 5.00am. I will miss you. 

This is my group's culture. Who says bacteria don't have a culture? Right. 

Blogging In The Airport

Okay, i have a few complaints. It took me 30 minutes to find a location with strong Wi-Fi signal in the airport. It took me 15 minutes to realise that Singapore Changi Airport does not provide FREE Wi-Fi service. Then it took me 30 minutes to find a location where i can finally get free Wi-Fi connection.

And it was 3a.m already.

Where got the mood to do assignments? *GrrR*

Okay i'm at the airport to accompany dear Maurice from 12am to 6am before he heads back for Melbourne to continue his Ph.D. And i have school later.

Total intake of liquid today chronologically:

1 cup of 3-in-1 coffee.
1/2 bowl of Mum's soup.
4 mugs of beer with Jimmy and friend.
1 cup of espresso at Starbuck's
1 cup (looks like a pint) of caramel tea.

And Maurice promised me 5 cups of coffee. He owed me 3 more.

I think i had two bad hair days already. Going to cut my hair on Saturday i guess.

It is interesting to blog in the airport for the first time of my life at this unearthly hour and i can feel my eyelids shutting down. Think i need more shots.

Okay, and sorry Gavin, i almost ruined your lappie due to countless tries of getting this lappie connected to the Internet.

Maybe next time i should download the Internet into Gavin's lappie when i borrow it next time.

Good morning Singapore~

Realisation & Thanksgiving

The sunrise today seemed so beautiful.
Relishing those moments, I felt renewed.
Chirpings of birds, freshness of dew,
all these seemed like a dream coming true.

I went to school and saw my friends.
I felt so thankful for having them.
Thank you people for touching my life,
I will be strong, and will not look back.

I'm thankful for my two brothers who are always there,
there for me when I needed care.
We were once defeated, but we shall not fall.
Together we will pull through, let's give it our all.

You people knew my story, and how much I had done.
Enough said, and nothing more to come.
A new life awaits, I will honour this chance.
Thank You Lord, for my new life had begun.

Wronged.

How many of you had been doubted by your loved one who had knew you inside out? Or just someone who knew about your relationship with the girl? Just cannot describe the feeling.

How come when shit happens, one don't go into deep thinking about things? How come that trust cannot be established even as a friend? Because what a person did to you or your friend in the past had hurt/changed your opinion of things so much that you decided to stereotype him? Till now i believed i had changed for the better. But had you both realised that it HURTS SO MUCH to be the first one coming to your minds when shit happens?

It bloody hurt so much can.

You can tell me I am not good enough for you. You can tell me I am not worthy of you.

What I cannot stand is to be doubted even as a friend. Had all the efforts i had put in gone down the drain?

This is the pain and the misery of a guy who is trying to get over a broken relationship, yet wrongly and unjustly accused by someone he held onto dearly even till now.

Sharon, tell me. Should i go on or should i still hold on until she sorts out her thoughts?

Coz i still love her you know.

Or she had sorted out her thoughts already?

When love dies, shit happens.

Oh I Have A Fever.

This fever of mine reminded me back to the time last semester, when i had a high fever at her place. Remembered her tender care for me by wiping cold towel over my upper torso, by padding my forehead with cold towel, and asking me to sleep over at her place.

Those were the days.

As i type this post, i felt so empty. The person who was once my pillar of strength and support is now gone. No one to give me tender loving anymore. No one for me to hug and hold on to when i am down.

I still cannot fathom the reason that we broke up. Because she cannot forgive my past? Probably. And i feel that we are drifting. Even as friends I am being doubted. Why? And I really such a venomous person in your eyes whom you had knew for more than 3 years? The pain is piercing you know? I am already so broken because of the relationship, and yet this is how you think of me when ugly things happened? Had i not proven myself enough to be a person who had changed for the better?

I really feel so terrible inside now. Because now i know how you guys think of me when i am desperate. Even after trying so hard to change. And if you don't know, i turn to God when i needed comfort and i turn to my friends when i needed company. Never ever will i resort to down right despicable words in blogs. If i have to sound off my view, i will state who am I.

I am an officer in the armed forces. I have my own integrity.

And people close to me should know. Know that i had changed for the better. But sadly i was maligned.

"Blessed are those pure in heart, for they will see God. "

I just want to be a simple person now.

My Heart Is Aching.

My heart is aching this very moment, i don't know why. I want to burst it all out but i can't. It's all swelling up within me, building up its fire of torment every minute every second.

My heart aches for a friend. Advices after advices came and it all adds up to futility. I feel so helpless seeing my friend walking into the Devil's arms and being tempted. Is making money all so important to one who is studying now? Can't one cut down on entertainment costs and what-nots so that pocket money will suffice? To the one lacking in self-discipline, this will lead to a slow and painful breakdown of the mental spirit.

Is having foresight really all so difficult?

Or does one refuses to look at foresight although it has been presented right in the face?

My heart continues to ache.

I say a prayer to God and pray that He gives His grace and strength to the lost sheep in His herd.

I Am Burping With Joy.

Just eaten dinner. Dad cooked chicken rice and man it was fantasticccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc.

*burps*

Thank you Daddy~

While I was taking the escalator at my LRT station on the way to school, I saw one rather "underaged" girl and a guy. The girl was wearing Levi's 593 jeans! Just look at how rich kids are nowadays. Then as I stepped out of the lift, i heard a soft "Boo!" (cuz I was listening to my mp3s back then) and i realised there were another two kids trying to scare the daylights out of their friends who were in the same lift as me. Guessed they got the wrong number.

And thank God I was listening to my mp3s. Probably I would be startled with a jump if I'm not. Haha!

And the lecture was boring. Konrad was asking questions, as per normal, and we guessed as much that we would jolly well end at 4pm instead of the promised 3pm.

And we have a lab session after that.

Well...with groanings and whinings we managed to get through it somehow. And God knows what beholds in the lab.

Microorganisms!

Was abit turned off when Prof. Tham told us during the briefing that the sample used today will be a sample of mashed up, watery chicken rice leftovers yesterday. Looks like some form of vomit that we see coming out of people's mouths after a long night of drinking.

And I just remembered Daddy's chicken rice.

And as I entered the lab, Diana just asked me to go over to them, put down my bag and wear my lab coat. Okay I admit that it kind of shocked me to see Diana in such a hush manner so I did as i was told. And magically, I became part of the group for the practical. And imagine I am the youngest in the group, the rest being females. And what can be worst than being "forced" to join the group and subsequently being forced to sit down at the fume cupboard to play around with the eeky leftovers. And I did almost 3/4 of the practical all by MYSELF!

Of course Irene was nice enough to be my personal assistant by helping me with the tubes and stuff. She had sacrificed her hands for me. Sorry if your skin turned rough because of washing it with alcohol. But in saying so, I somehow don't really feel apologetic about it. That's me.

Hmm..

And I hate the office crowd. It is just so sickening to enter the train not to find a seat. Or at least a nice place to stand.

It has been raining for two days, and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day. And William better pray that I won't ram his car tomorrow during the driving lesson.

Dreams.

Last night before i sleep, i prayed to God that He give me some revelations on my life. Yes i did dream but i wonder if that reflects my future.

I dreamt of my friends, those close ones like Jimmy and Eric who stood by me when I needed them most. I dreamt of being in school when i am diverted from my thoughts. I dreamt of her with a new blogskin. I dreamt that she talked to me in a very sweet but slightly irritated manner. Perhaps God's revelation to me is that i should cherish and appreciate people around me. Perhaps He is telling me there is going to be someone new in her life but it's not me.

I see the beauty of His work when i wake up to see this world again. How everything falls into place; the sun rises from the east, the birds chirping, the clouds floating in the blue blue sky and the friends who i mix with everyday. I give thanks for everything i see.

Somehow, yesterday i came to realise that if you close your heart to someone, be it God or anybody, you can never be appreciative of the things He did in this world. Only when your heart is opened, then the works of that special one can touch you and let you be appreciative of the efforts being put in.

With this i close my blog for the morning. Maybe there's more to come..

Biblical...

Some beautiful lessons I've learnt from the Bible.

Enjoy.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

~ Matthew 7: 1 - 5

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

~ Matthew 7: 1 - 11

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

~ 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7

"Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits." Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame."

~ 1 Corinthians 15: 33 - 34

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

~ Acts 20:35

"Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure."

~ Ecclesiasticus 9:10

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

~ Romans 5:1 - 5