Life.

What do you like about life? The smell of the sweet-smelling rain? The sight of the beautiful sunrise? The feeling of being with your loved ones?

What about me?

I love life the way it is sometimes. I like to ponder in my own little box. I ponder about things when I swim; when everything around me is just water, and the sound of my own breathing.

I ponder about things when i shower; when hot water gushes down from my head.

I ponder about things when the wind blows onto me at the beach; when i feel that i'm all alone in this world.

I ponder about things when i cycle alone; when i hear nothing but my voice resonating within me.

I wish that i could cycle forever. Perhaps my voice will tell me the answers to my life now.

Crisis after crisis followed this year. A failed relationship, Mum falling ill, low self-esteem, backstabbings. What is this all about?

I very much appreciate what's around me when i wake up to see this world once again. I gave thanks for everything and everything. Because I've learnt to appreciate.

But why do all these crisises still hurt me so much? Yes i've gotten over some. But there's more to come.

I pray that the results will be negative for Mum tomorrow.

She is such a benevolent and caring mother to her sons. So tolerating and patient. What had she done to deserve that warning?

This is seriously disturbing. And all i can do is just to wait painfully for tomorrow to come.

Who understands how I feel at times, who understands what i want in life?

Perhaps it is only me, myself and I. What's the point of sharing sometimes?

My friends have their own commitments, i don't blame them and i won't want to disturb them. I can only box myself up in this little private space of mine.

Who takes the effort to ask why my nickname in MSN is as such? And who follows up after that?

Perhaps I'm asking for too much. Because I am FUCKING vulnerable now. Because i yearn for someone special to give me the emotional support I want. Because life is so hectic that i don't want to do anything much about it but to enjoy myself while i can.

I am strong on the outside but weak inside. I am not appealing on the outside but rich in the heart.

How many of you actually appreciates me for who i am? I really don't know.

"All returns to earth and dust."