Jimmy Is A New Man!

Jimmy had finally sorted out things. Eric too. When will be my turn? I guess the emotional freak in me refuses to give in at all.

Was viewing her blog when i saw a message on her first page. Guess it's for me. It says:

Love is to sacrifice,
I shall not waste your time.
Thus to be fair to you,
I chose to leave.

How meaningful these words are to by-standers. How useless these words are to me. Is she implying she still love me, that's why she decided not to waste my time?

Jimmy told me about what him and his friend chatted about. He said, when you know that a girl is worth your love, go all out and get her back. This sounded very encouraging for me because as much as i wanted to give up hope on her, there is always this side of me telling me to wait. Because she is the one i can commit to for life. It will never be easy to find one who you can confide in your inner self. I won't want to let it go just simply so. And i guess i wouldn't want to share my life with another girl already. That is how much i love her. And i believe strongly that it will stand for years to come. Unless i really realised that she is lost from me, then i shall move on in my love life.

Received a good night message from her when i was in the cab (after Jimmy's fierce driving with my balls in my mouth). Replied casually but never ever did i expect a call from her after that. She sounded so not-herself. Perhaps of the influence under alcohol. Sad to know that she drank so much because she is troubled. If alcohol ever helps, i would be a better man now. Right.

You know, one of my friend told me he would really call a person he misses, truly, so much when he is high. Does she really miss me? Or just because she missed the weekend times with me? It is not me to assume things now and even if i do, it would be for the worst. Time will tell if this broken relationship will ever stand.

Some analogies in life are simply daunting to me. Like what Maurice told me, you can never hatch a broken egg or mend a broken vase. But i strongly refused to listen. Love is just so powerful and i believe in it. It once changed me and i hope to see the day when it changes Anqi, for as long as i live. Hopefully her feelings are still there.

I just felt so hurt when the words in her blog said," I am still me. The girl whom you once loved. But i no longer need your love. I just wana be me. I will live without you.."

I once loved you, and i am still loving you.

Shed tears for her when i was at Mdm Wong's just now. Heard Rick Astley's "Together Forever". Brought back memories of the time when i accompanied her to her friend's chalet.

You may live without me, but i can't live without you.