I Should Have Known.

This bout of stress and sickness brought me to my lowest point (so far) for this semester.

I needed motivation, encouragement and basically, something which I can fall back on. I see that in life, it is always much more reliable to rely on yourself than other. Just so that you will not squirm at your own timidness when it suddenly dawned upon you that there is no one outside that door.

I should have known than to ask. After all, there should be no obligations, right?

Right.

Just like I was telling a friend. There are simply too much stuff which I cannot confide in school mates as well as close friends because 1.) either I get a scolding or 2.), I push the morale down. I cannot even blog it out. Got to stomach it all.

Or tell a neutral party about it.

I learnt about intrinsic motivation in school. How it actually pushes one towards his/her goals. Yes, I find purpose and meaning in things that I do but I see that my life is just but a fluctuation of emotions masked by my academic baggage. It is time to look into myself once more. This has been intolerable.

I'll pack my bag and go. This world has no space for me.