Broken.
Somehow I feel that from yesterday till today, I am not thinking much of her. But again, I am suppressing my mind not to think. It is hard not to think when so many things had been overcame by the both of us. All the pains, sweetness and bitterness. It is hard to imagine how one can have feelings faded when we went through so much altogether. Does she ever put that into consideration? Or is it because she's enjoying herself so much that she don't dare to look back into the past again?
I don't know.
Till now I really wonder how can someone put her everything into enjoyment such that she can possibly forsake a lifelong happiness. Friends had being telling me I should give it all up. But I can't! It is hard to do so. And because girls are more emotional, it really makes me fathom why she can forget everything, even though it is after a period of time. I won't say I'm in an emotional turomoil now, but I am just stating something which I felt should be, somehow, addressed.
Work can divert my thoughts, but only for a while. Being with friends can only make me enjoy myself temporary. But where can I find that everlasting enjoyment and happiness that I'm looking for?
I don't know. I just want to release and forget.
posted by f r o g g y @ 1:46 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
There is no everlasting enjoyment or happiness. It is a fragment of your imagination caused by stupid fairy tales of "happily ever after". Did anyone tell you about Cinderella cheating on her prince? Wake up to the real world. Fairy tales are ideal but if anything in my life is ideal, I'll tell you "here is a ticket on tonight's flight heading to Melbourne... just bring yourself."
Snow White should wake up on her own, vomit that apple, go to the neighbourhood sperm bank and inseminate herself. If she can't wake up, then she's meant to die anyway. Don't wait to be rescued? No-one and nothing can. You owe your own happiness and enjoyment to yourself, you don't owe anyone that and neither anyone owes you that.
Paths meet, paths crossed, paths separated, that is life. In the long run, we are all dead. What eternity or everlasting is that? How many couples can die on the same day? In the end, aren't you just alone again? Life is this cruel, when I looked at my grandmother when my grandfather died, I came to realise this. You can spend your whole life together but it has to part, there is no such thing as everlasting. If anything is everlasting for my grandmother now, it is the pains of losing my grandfather and the cold pigeon hole...
Wake up. There is no pot of gold beneath a rainbow. Bet you have to find out for yourself that rainbow don't even touch the ground.
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