Debts. Endless Debts.

Had been almost a week since I last blogged with actual sentences (not poems). Decided to change my blogskin because the previous one looks kind of small and abit irritating. I managed not to think so much tonight; perhaps of the busy chats. Had a few things left undone. I think most of it are in the wish list.

But ultimately, I rather I find myself. That's all I am asking for.

Am I making life miserable for myself? Am I making myself suffer over little issues? Maybe I am. Worthless me.

It feels good to be free after the examinations. No stress for the next 12 weeks. Time to read some self-help books.

I feel that my self-worth had dropped quite a considerable bit. But I am still going strong. I don't know when I will feel exhausted from this long walk. This walk is tedious and apprehensive as I sluggishly drag my snail-like and naked paces on the trail full of nails. Yes, I may walk slowly, but I try not to walk backwards, no matter how slow it seems to be.

It seems like eternity.

All my friends asked me to put the past behind me and move on. Some of them said there's no future. Some of them said I should find someone who really appreciates me. Some of them said I'm useless as to hold on to nothing. Having heard all those mouths, I still think I'm quite settled for her. Is it all so hard to ask for? Can just one darned incident lead to so many many hiccups? I still feel this guilt in me every now and then. I regretted playing with fire. And it left a deep scar on me. Two implications from this scar; I've learnt and seen true love, but the price for this experience is too heavy to pay.

I feel so indebted to my conscience even till today.